The rise of rudeness — and what it means for real estate

Do you ever get the feeling that something has changed in your social and professional interactions? That people act differently now than they used to? Well, I’ve got good news for you — it’s not just your imagination.

According to a recent Pew Research Center report, nearly half of Americans believe people have become ruder since the start of the pandemic. If you work in real estate, you probably didn’t need a study to tell you that.

Personally, you may find that you don’t take as much pleasure in daily activities as you used to. Drivers are wild and increasingly aggressive. Children are feral. The simple pleasantries that used to make running errands a pleasure — small moments of conversation or even a simple nod of the head or wave of acknowledgement — simply no longer occur, or not as often.

Professionally, we’ve felt it at open houses. We’ve seen it in client emails. We’ve heard it during negotiations. Just getting someone to answer the phone or return a message has become increasingly difficult. Across the industry, there’s a quiet consensus: the vibe has shifted. People seem to have less patience, less tolerance and less resilience.

We’re in a business that runs on human behavior and on the emotion and pressure that come with making big personal and financial decisions. After years of uncertainty, stress, loss and social isolation, people are showing up to real estate interactions with frayed patience and sharper edges.

What’s changed?

The pandemic knocked a lot of our social wiring loose. For two years, we were isolated, tense and in a state of low-grade, fight-or-flight survival mode. Now, many people are still carrying that stress — and it’s seeping into everyday interactions.

In real estate, that might look like:

• Buyers showing up late to showings and acting dismissive when asked to follow basic protocol.

• Clients ghosting or firing agents mid-transaction without explanation.

• Hostile negotiation tactics, even in fairly balanced deals.

• Neighbors getting territorial before escrow even closes.

Add to that the exorbitant increases in the price of everything and especially homes. Higher interest rates and lower inventory have driven the cost of buying up, while buyers are unable to afford as much house as they could before the pandemic. Now tack on all of the negative talk around commissions, and it’s no wonder clients and colleagues are testier than they used to be.

As if all of that weren’t enough, we’re also experiencing cultural shifts related to the political and social divisions that have emerged in the years since the pandemic. Many in our society are feeling marginalized and abused, while others have become more entitled and more empowered to spew hateful rhetoric and abuse others. Many of us are wary when we meet someone new, and unsure about how their true attitudes and motivations align with our own.

It’s not that everyone has suddenly become “bad” — but the emotional margin for grace is thinner than it used to be. And in a market where high stakes and fast timelines are the norm, that tension can explode quickly.

Why it matters

Real estate is fundamentally about relationships. If civility breaks down, so does trust. And without trust, everything gets harder—marketing, negotiations, referrals, repeat business.

Sellers feel insulted. Buyers get defensive. Agents burn out from the emotional labor of constantly smoothing things over.

How to respond

We can’t control other people’s behavior, but we can set expectations early, draw clearer boundaries, and respond with calm instead of escalation.

• Be proactive about communication norms. Spell out your working hours and response timeframe upfront. Provide content that answers questions, explains processes and sets expectations.

• Model the behavior you want to receive. Be firm, kind and direct. Show up on time, and show respect for the homes you tour and the people who live there.

• Brush up on your own etiquette. Character is what you do when no one is watching. Make sure that your behavior is above reproach.

• Cultivate a referral-based business. Take good care of past clients and communicate regularly with your sphere of influence. Nice people who are fun to work with probably have friends and family members who are equally delightful.

• Know when to walk away. If someone crosses the line from stressed to abusive, protecting your peace comes first. Don’t allow a client to use you as their punching bag.

Yes, people might be ruder than they were five years ago. But that also means empathy, patience and professionalism stand out even more.

In this post-COVID market, decency is a differentiator — and in real estate branding and marketing, differentiation is everything.